Aunt Baby and Alvin Wesley

Aunt Baby and Alvin Wesley
Reasons I Smile...

Thursday, March 21, 2013


I taste your sadness,
Burns my tongue like salt water,
My eyes cry for you.
I do not know all,
I try to walk in your shoes,
I will not judge you.
This is how I feel,
A nurse cares in so many ways,
Even to say no.

Simon & Garfunkel:  Bridge Over Troubled Waters
At the end of the day, we can be thoroughly exhausted from doing everything for everybody in our lives. 
Often there is little left for ourselves in the way of time, energy or even interest at the end of that same day.
Because we are naturally compassionate and caring, we want to be there when someone we love is down. 
Being there does not mean fixing something in most situations, as much as we would like to.  This is a wish and not a reality.
I have found myself in very dire situations saying: "I truly wish that I could make this better for you and I am so sorry that this has happened.  Can I listen for awhile? What are your thoughts?"
Time after time, when I cross the boundary of doing for instead of with someone, the end result is codependency and not compassion. 
"Mature love and healthy compassion are not dependent, but interdependent, born out of a deep respect for ourselves as well as others."  (Jack Kornfield)


  1. Bridge Over Troubled Waters is one of my favorites, oozing with memories.

    Mar, every word you've written is so true. Compassion may be a virtue, but the compassionate soul is most of the time the most used and abused soul in the neighborhood and evidently the most lonesome. Always there for others, but struggling all alone with own issues because compassion does not allow them to use/enjoy the compassion of others.

    I love these musings of yours. Oh, how we would have enjoyed doing things in real life together - not musing or discussing these kind of truths, but just knowing it while we make the best of the moment.

    Hugs galore to you :)

  2. Dear Martie,

    What a sincerely beautiful and wise comment...It makes me all the more certain we are soul Sistas. Thank you so very much.

    Love, Maria

  3. I must agree with what our mutual, dear friend Martie said in her comment. She is a very wise woman, and speaks for so many of us. I feel more and more that we three ladies, are so much alike.
    My love to you!

  4. Dear Sannel,

    I treasure the idea that Martie, you and I have much in common. You are both so supportive, kind, funny and I feel I am in awesome company.