I taste your sadness,
Burns my tongue like salt water,
My eyes cry for you.
I do not know all,
I try to walk in your shoes,
I will not judge you.
This is how I feel,
A nurse cares in so many ways,
Even to say no.
Simon & Garfunkel: Bridge Over Troubled Waters
At the end of the day, we can be thoroughly exhausted from doing everything for everybody in our lives.
Often there is little left for ourselves in the way of time, energy or even interest at the end of that same day.
Because we are naturally compassionate and caring, we want to be there when someone we love is down.
Being there does not mean fixing something in most situations, as much as we would like to. This is a wish and not a reality.
I have found myself in very dire situations saying: "I truly wish that I could make this better for you and I am so sorry that this has happened. Can I listen for awhile? What are your thoughts?"
Time after time, when I cross the boundary of doing for instead of with someone, the end result is codependency and not compassion.
"Mature love and healthy compassion are not dependent, but interdependent, born out of a deep respect for ourselves as well as others." (Jack Kornfield)