Aunt Baby and Alvin Wesley

Aunt Baby and Alvin Wesley
Reasons I Smile...

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Worry Buckets

Worry or Curiosity?

There is nothing like a control freak being held hostage to put worrying in proper perspective.  Simply put, since 1999, I don't "fret much over much". 
At least, I try not to dwell on any one issue for too long.

I have always prided myself on being very organized. I think I always will be, whether about personal or professional matters. However, I used to become overly preoccupied with the importance of being orderly with this organization.

For 46 very long hours, I focused and stared at work that was yet to be done on my table, still in neat and ordered piles. At the end of the hostage seige, my desk and the table were overturned, with papers strewn everywhere. Who knows when and if those all - important matters were ever attended to? They certainly weren't by me. Yet, only hours before, they appeared to be matters of the utmost importance.

What a lesson! And what a way to have to learn it! But it is a lesson that I will never forget, and I sometimes take the time to remind some I care about. Life goes on. No one ever has an empty in box in the game of life.

And, today, almost 12 years later, I will honestly always fret about a little something.  It seems to be an inherent part of my hyper-vigilant nature.

But, now, I tend to view worrying as more of little red lights along the highway of life.  Worry has the ability to stop us in our tracks but should never last for very long. At least, I will not allow it to in my life.

This does not, however, translate to careless, hasty or insensitive behavior.  Sleeping on it is a prudent strategy that has saved me from many an ill-thought decision.

Weighing all options in a non-reactive manner is key. Asking several objective people for their opinion is also smart, not necessarily commiting to anything.

It is really healthy to recognize when you are on overload. You may have  way too much in your glass. And this latest worry is causing a great spill!  And it is YOU that needs to be mopped off the floor!

Of course, at these times, it is impossible to really listen to even the best of advice, even your own! You need to take some time to heal. Only you know how long you need and how often.

I have a dear friend who told me about her worry bucket.  When she has had enough, she puts all her cares in a mental worry bucket.  Only she has the power to decide when to worry and when the bucket needs to be emptied.

  • It might be after a walk with your dog.
  • It might be after a nice soak in the tub.
  • It might be after you have dirty hands from gardening or weeding.
  • Or you may decide you can put off the worying for awhile...
Some days we are barraged with the sadness of life, especially when those we love have so many awful things happening to them all around us. In no way, is this meant to minimize any of our inner angst.

Yet, in my darkest days, to focus on the simplest positive act, behavior or detail on this glorious Earth, including the inspirational people I have met along the way, greatly eases any worry over things I cannot control.

"Now I think my point is that I have learned to live with it all... with being old... whatever happens... all of it." (Edelgard)


  1. This is incredibly deep and meaningful, Mar. Your musings carry important messages to everyone who reads them.
    Having a major life experience like the one you did is something most of us never have to face. The things you learned during those long hours of suffering are valuable and insightful.

    I love this part.
    "Who knows when and if those all - important matters were ever attended to? They certainly weren't by me. Yet, only hours before, they appeared to be matters of the utmost importance."

    That describes the way I was at work, too: Driven, obsessed with the priorities of the job description, no time for family or fun. For me now, every day is a blessing whether it's raining or shining.
    Love every word of what you said here.

    PS I love that you put my blog link out here. Thank you so much.
    Love your musings and you

  2. Thank you, dear Peg. It took me awhile to settle down and come back to my musings, which are a source of great peace to me.

    Your supportive friendship means the world and I appreciate you taking the time more than you may know. Love, Maria